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TheGrlsRestroom
You need your girls, you need to release, you need to reset, & you need to refresh! This will be a safe place where we talk about all the fun things, love, grow, glow, get our shit together & release it!
TheGrlsRestroom
What it really means to be a "girls girl"
This episode is all about accountability, healing, and moving forward with lessons learned. By embracing our mistakes and growth, we can create a nurturing environment where women thrive, even if we don't always see eye to eye.
What do we often overlook about female friendships? Together, we explore the unique bonds formed and the misconceptions that arise. We're diving into the essence of genuine connections, why they should be celebrated openly, and the hazards of letting external factors, especially men, disrupt these sisterhoods. We also tackle the impact of generational trauma on our freedom and the critical need to uplift one another. There's something profoundly beautiful in women supporting women, and it's time we break free from societal constraints and traumas of the past.
How do you navigate romantic entanglements without losing your sense of self? In this heartfelt episode, we discuss maintaining strong boundaries and self-love amidst relationship dramas. I share personal experiences, emphasizing mutual respect and the importance of supporting each other through the tough times. We'll explore different types of friendships, recognizing when to keep people at arm’s length to protect our emotional well-being. Remember, you are powerful, deserving, and worthy of authentic connections that celebrate who you truly are.
welcome to the girls of restroom honey. Well, we will be relaxing, refreshing, reminding ourselves that we are worthy of everything that is out there for us. Okay, worthy of all the good things. So, anyway, y'all, I'm so mad right now. Ooh, mm, y'all like the way I do the eyes. I got a microphone and don't know how to act. Okay, but y'all ain't going to believe this shit. I literally sat down here and I mean, I was getting into it. Girl, recorded a whole 22-minute show and the mic wasn't even on. Not me peeking over the look and making sure, is the mic on now? But it's on now, y'all. It's on now, y'all. Girl, the mic wasn't even on.
Speaker 1:And then I literally went back to 2011 in my phone to delete a whole bunch of stuff, videos and everything over 17,000 like images and videos all all together no more than that, because it was 9 000 videos by itself long videos, everything, all the apps gone. Nine minutes in the video of me recording it cut off time. My store's too full. I thought I'm just gonna have to break down and buy me a camera. I'm just going to have to buy me a camera. I was trying to do like the whole take your time, don't invest in every single thing at one time. Fuck that. I'm going to get me a camera that ain't going to do nothing but motivate me to get up and make sure.
Speaker 1:I'm getting these episodes out to y'all anyway, so y'all might get part visual. I'm getting these episodes out to y'all anyway, so y'all might get part visual. I'm gonna break it up and do some content with it, but y'all gonna. Y'all might have to wait on the visuals and I look real good. So you gonna see, because I got on my Barbie girl today. It's real pink, it's real purple, pink, black Barbie baby doll. It's giving all that.
Speaker 1:Anyway, this episode today is about being a girl's girl and what it really means to be a girl's girl. So today in time, for me, what it means to be a girl's girl is just being there for a woman that you see a part of you in, if that makes sense, because, anyway, if that makes sense, if you, you, we have all been that girl before. And when I say when it comes to, let me just start by taking accountability first, because I'm big on that these days. I haven't always been a girl, girl, girl's girl, or I have always been a girl's girl, but I have not always moved like a girl's girl. Hold on y'all. Somebody hit the door, okay, I'm back, y'all.
Speaker 1:So what I was saying was I have not always moved like a girl's girl and that went cool. It was because I was miserable, I was in the wrong circle. I was. There's really no excuse for it. It's just a lesson.
Speaker 1:I had to learn to be the person who I am today, honestly, and if I have been that girl that caused you trauma or friendship, heartache or anything, that's a real fucking thing. I apologize to you. You are my sister. You did not deserve that feeling and even at the time, if you've done something to me and feel like maybe I did deserve that, you didn't deserve that. Like, certain shit just needs to be talked about and not acted upon because of hurt and anger, and that's what the fuck's wrong with America today. We need to fix that. You know what I'm saying. So if I have been that girl that just was a fake friend to you, did something that was just disloyal or just moved funny with you, like, I apologize wholeheartedly. So I do take accountability of that, because it ain't what you deserve. It ain't no way. I mean, truthfully, it's life, but I'm taking accountability for my actions, for not being a girl's girl to you or not being the friend that I am today or to other people, to you. So I want to reach that healing spot for you and say come on, girl, and heal with me. So, with that being said, I've yeah, I've done some things. That wasn't. You know that. I've forgiven myself about, I've let the shit go. And for those girls they like they be still fake Honey. I ain't buying that shit.
Speaker 1:You know, I understand, because there's a lot of girls I'm like that with too. Like I'm just because trauma is trauma, some certain stuff you just got to set boundaries and you can't, like let people right their wrongs. Fortunately for me, a lot of those friends have let me right those wrongs and we're not as close as we were and I'm totally fine with that. But we're cordial. We're at a beautiful space in our life where we could compliment each other or even be there for each other sometimes or just reach out and check on each other, or you know, like it's just a beautiful space and I'm fine with that. I don't have to be back together with any heartbreak that I'm, you know. I mean it's just something that it doesn't have to happen. We don't have to be the best of friends for me to be there for you as a sister or as a girl and I mean that's kind of the point of this podcast you know, like not everybody's a girl's girl, not everybody likes to hang around girls who are always around a lot of girls, some people just it's just not some people vibe. But you can turn on something like this and feel good about yourself and feel like you got a sister and feel like, oh, this bitch, understand me because I do, I get it.
Speaker 1:I've had my emo times where I felt like, oh my God, I'm just emotional and I personally was emo because I am a girl's girl. I like being around a group of women and gay men or trans women, whatever you identify is that's just like my vibe. That's why I feel comfortable at. That's who I relate to. I like all girly things. That's just me and who I am. But I accept everyone.
Speaker 1:But I've had my emotional stages where I just wanted to go through things alone, don't want to be around a whole group of women. This my friend, but I don't like her ass today because it's just I don't like me today, like you know. So we are emotional creatures. We are healers. We have to heal ourselves in order to be there for other people. So it is a certain like I've been there before and that's what I feel like makes me a girl's girl. Like I've been there before and that's what I feel like makes me a girl's girl. I need to take honey, silence this phone, because people just hitting me up and I don't hear. That's what. Honestly, look I don't know if I got it I'm talking about. Look, finna, get to preaching. I don't even know what I'm preaching about, but yes, to me, not everybody has to be a girl's girl and not everybody is a girl's girl.
Speaker 1:However, I feel like if you're not a girl's girl, you shouldn't be going around claiming it. If you know any weak moment in your life, you would do something or go behind your friend's back and do something to her over, like a man or money. You're a girl's girl. You're not a girl's girl at all, point, like you're not even really a good person, and that's what it stems down to. Are you a good person? How can you be a girl's girl if you're not even a good person? You have to have good judgment. You have to know when the enemy's trying to attack you and break you down to something so small where no one wants to be around you, including women, you know, who understand the most Cause we get, I feel like, attacked the most because we are the healers we birth, we are the closest thing to God, so of course, the enemy is always going to try to attack you in certain ways that build you up and make you stronger, and I feel like other women do that for us, because we understand each other. We're the only things in life that go through what we go through and can understand another woman's point of view. It doesn't matter if it's your mom that's your best friend, if you only got one friend or if you got a thousand friends. It doesn't matter if it's your mom that's your best friend, if you only got one friend or if you got a thousand friends, it doesn't matter.
Speaker 1:Now, growing up, I was always told some girls were scared and afraid to get close to me or try to get close to me, because they felt like she got a thousand friends. She caught all these bitches her best friend, all these hoes at her friend, just being catty and in reality they are. You know if I have a special bond or connection with you that I haven't had with anybody else, because we have multiple soulmates throughout the universe and throughout our life. So if I have a certain type of bond with you, it's just on that best friend, soulmate connection level. That's who you are, um, at the moment I'm not gonna put nobody above you.
Speaker 1:I'm gonna always love you the same and our connection is gonna be our connection if you're genuine on your end, like if it's a genuine on your end, me I'm very genuine, like when I love you, I love you and I don't care how I show it, I don't care who knows, because you have those people too that love you behind closed doors but then, like publicly, will never show you that love, but show other people that love and that has nothing to do with you. So don't take that personal. Don't take that personal. But I'm not one of those girls. When I love you, I love you and I don't care. Can't nobody make me unlove you, can't nobody make me not like you, can't nobody make me nothing like me, me, me, like you, my girl. And shouldn't no one make you.
Speaker 1:And I don't make my friends feel above one another either, like we all have a connection on a deeper, on a deeper level than the other, like even my little circle friends, like I just love sometimes when they do have their moments where they're a little bit closer to each other and or have their own little friendship outside of me being the connection or friend. Like I love that because it's just like, oh yes, because I see me in all of y'all and for y'all to find me and the other person is just beautiful. Like I don't know, I'm just such a girly, girly, girly, girly girl and like to me that is beautiful. But I've also been put in a position where I've had to. Well, I tried to make everybody friends and it just don't work out. It don't work out and make you look like the missy bitch that you are, because, bitch, I was missing.
Speaker 1:I'm like, okay, girl, like I'm so blunt, it's just you telling shit. You don't need to be telling doing shit. You don't need to be doing around shit. You don't need to be around hearing shit. You don't need to be telling doing shit. You don't need to be doing around shit. You don't need to be around hearing shit. You don't need to hear, because there's just certain shit I don't want to hear about my friends, and I've been in situations where my friends have had conflicts with each other without me involved period, and both have came to me and said little stuff and I'm like, no, I don't want to be a part of that.
Speaker 1:Back the day I used to try to mend it in high school and that's when the miss missy started following my name like oh she missy, oh she missy, oh she missy. So it was either, especially if it's of a dude try, don't get, don't let me them the quickest ones to put in your ear that a bitch is missing when in reality she just want bad bitches to drink. That's all it. So, being a girl's girl, you're not going to let another man come in between our sisterhood and do that either. Regardless of how we feel about the other girl, you're not going to do that. What you're not going to do? Because, at the end of the day, baby, when it comes to these men, if you don't think I ain't never been that girl, that you're my little secret, hey, that's how we should keep it we should never let him go.
Speaker 1:If you don't think I ain't been helpful and that's not me bragging, I'm just saying I done been there before, so I know what that state of vulnerability feel like. I know what that state state of vulnerability feel like. I know what that, that mindset feel like. I know with what frequency I've been there before, so I understand the feeling of, oh, this is so wrong, but it feels so good. That's, that's life. That's life. Our kids bad as hell. They do stuff all the time that just they know ain't right, but it feels so good to do it anyway, just because of the and that goes down to if you ask me down to, I know I don't give a damn Like.
Speaker 1:It stems back down to generation, like trauma, like generational trauma. This is what I was trying to say. It's all just coming out, I'm sorry. It all stems down back to generational trauma of freedom, trying to be free, like we are, you know, like wound carriers and we have been carried through a wound and that trauma passes down. So that sense of I need to. I can do what the hell I want to do, I'm free. Can't nobody tell me what to do? Can anybody tell me who to love? Okay, that stems down from trauma for real.
Speaker 1:So we have to release that and let that shit go. If you ain't here on the first episode. That's part of something. You need to let go and realize that we're no one's property and realize that no one is our property. So we really got to work on being just not even so much a girl's girl like going to hang out, being that girl that hangs out with a whole bunch of women None of that, just having a woman's back because you've been that low before or you've been that high before, or you understand what that feels like to be put up against, or competition, or you know like we're the most interesting when it comes to entertainment too, because we're going to get low and dirty with things, because we are just that powerful.
Speaker 1:So, of course, men look to boost their ego, to pin us together against each other when it comes to their time and attention, and they get jealous of us sometimes like let's be for real, like no shade to the men it's in here, but listening like they probably you don't need to be listening to feminist ass shit anyway. Like someone literally told me that one of my ex-boyfriends was like oh, what the hell is it like? I don't like people like that and that's why he's okay, you're not gonna pin me away from my sisters, because don't nobody understand what it feel like to be a woman. But a woman and I'm saying that for all women when it comes to being a biological woman, when it comes to being a trans woman, won't nobody else understand you and the fight that you fight to be who you are than your sister. So we need to lean on each other instead of judging each other or purposely hurting each men and things like that. Like that's just something we all have to grow from and it's no judgment zone here. If you are doing that, maybe it's a message that you need to hear.
Speaker 1:Um, or, you know, understand more on a vulnerable level. Like I've been that girl. I've hit a one, it's been one dude, one guy that I've been. Like that I went to another woman about. Like you know. So when someone approaches me and like I was really hurt about it, when someone approaches me on some woman to woman shit and I really honestly didn't know, cause that's the only way you gonna approach me about someone, baby, if I didn't know about you, then I just didn't know about you. But cause I'm'm not gonna be out here, just willing to miss what people mean, and I've been done, done that and it ain't good feeling, it ain't good karma, okay, but um, so I'm very vulnerable to I would be open to be very vulnerable with someone who comes to me as a woman or asks me, like, about their man.
Speaker 1:Like I'm going to completely have a conversation. I'm that girl. I'm going to have a conversation with you. We're going to figure this shit out. We're going to either set him up or I'm going to understand your point of view and apologize to you for him being an asshole, and I'm going to leave it alone and I ain't even going to double back. Look twice, twice or nothing. You can tell him why she ain't fucking with you, no more. It ain't even my place to let him know why I'm ignoring him or why I choose to move on or whatever. I'm gonna let you do that, like you. Let him know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, guess who I talked to today? You tell him everything. I told you, baby, I want you to stand on business. You hear me because, um, been there, done that, know that pain grew from that trauma. Hell, it's probably women on here, or well, not. Yeah, it was a couple of y'all. It was over one man, I'm saying, but it was a couple of y'all. I had to, like you know, knock on y'all door. Hey, come outside real quick.
Speaker 1:And if you listening, today, like you've seen it, I've grown. Like I show those girls love, like it ain't a competition with me, because I love me and I don't want no parts of that. Like I am just grown from it and I just honestly feel like ain't no man worthy of sharing me. Like baby, I come with a lot, honey. I am freaking all of that. I come with a lot. I ain't got time to be sharing you with my home girls and sisters and other women out there. Like, please get on, sir.
Speaker 1:Um, that went totally left. However, yes, that's what I was saying. We got to do better when it comes to shit like that. Like it's honestly depressing. It ain't nothing cute about bragging about Don't come to me as no woman. Like you know, it was hee-hee, ha-ha when I was in high school and getting out of high school, but as a grown-ass woman who was about to be 30 years old, ain't shit like that cute, ain't nothing about it cute, ain't nothing about it being a girl's girl.
Speaker 1:No, when you know in reality, okay, say boom, it ain't happening in your life personally, but say, for instance, you walk into the girl's bathroom and you see a girl crying and crying her eyes out and she done told you what was going on, just vulnerably beating you. Like what are you automatically gonna do? You are automatically gonna comfort her and be like girl, fuck him. Like this is shit we do in the girl's bathroom, even if we could be in the same club as our enemy and they over there on this little section. I'm over here on this little section. When we hear F-R-E-E, that means we always jamming together. Like that's the energy we always need to keep, that's what we always need to keep, like when it comes to these men.
Speaker 1:Now, when it comes to other little stuff, like you know what I'm saying. Like set your boundaries and stand your ground against people and let's take gender out of it. Like let's take being a girl's girl out of it and just stand your ground and be a good person, love, and that's all you need to focus on coming in towards your way to keep all the extra shit out of it. So, standing your boundaries, I don't care if it's a girl, boy, whatever. Stay true to yourself and your self-worth and your self-love.
Speaker 1:Because, however, I have forgiven a lot of the girls. That has broken my heart as a friend and I pray that they have forgiven me. But that doesn't mean we even have to speak. Some people have gave me most of the girls have gave me the grace to accept my apology, and we're at a beautiful space where we speak, we say hey to our little children or we compliment our children, we coming on each other's stuff on the internet back and forth, um, someone's like you know, some of us like even have the grace of even hitting each other up every now and then just checking in or whatever, and that's a beautiful thing. But I know deep down in my heart, they know deep down in their heart. They knew deep down in their heart and it ain't even got to be that deep that we would probably not connect on that level anymore, because that was just like a moment in time that we've healed, we've grown from and we're good. So that's always beautiful for me to like. You know, just whatever with that.
Speaker 1:And um, let me try to think what else I want to talk about with this. I didn't draw nothing now. Y'all I had literally I can't get over me recording that whole damn thing and you ain't hear not a word, not a peak, not a nothing, but um, yeah, that's what it means to be a girl's girl these days for me and I feel like I went over like how I feel about girls who ain't girl's girl. No, I didn't Like, okay. So this is how I feel about girls who ain't girl's girl.
Speaker 1:You don't have to be a girl's girl Just because you, you know you cool and you kick it with the girls and you've healed from it. Like you don't have to be a girl's girl, you don't have to be. But don't fake the fault, like you are, if you know you ain't a girl's girl, if you know you move selfishly I mean selfishly and you know who you are. But you want a whole bunch of group of girls to hang around. Cool, okay, but be a good person, just be a good person. You don person. Just be a good person. You don't have to be a girl. You don't have to hang around girls to be a girl's girl. But like, don't fake the phone, like, be real with yourself. Are you really that girlfriend?
Speaker 1:Because, if not, if she found it like friendship, heartache is like the worst heartache, I swear. Because, especially girls, because we, just we, we literally find sisters outside of family, because sometimes our family isn't family. So that's what we create our own family. And to be devastated that a bitch you wanted to like rock this shit out with, ride or die is not your bitch for real because they just did some slum, stupid shit. It's just insane, it's crazy and it does not feel good. And every woman has went through that. Every woman has went through our girlfriend heartbreak.
Speaker 1:Oh, it ain't fun, it ain't fun and I don't know about y'all. I done broke a couple of friends hearts, I know, and I'm just like damn, I ain't know about y'all. I done broke a couple of friends hearts, I know, and I'm just like damn. I ain't mean to dog like that was the old me, I done grew up like I done grew up and, like I said, we've got to a beautiful place and have passed that. But and there's some girls out there that I have so much love for, who I want to just hug and be like girl, just let the evenness go, let that misery go.
Speaker 1:But some people just ain't good people Like. Some people just cool to hang around and cool to have fun when at the club, but not really a girl's girl or meant to kick it on a personal level and once they show you that from other situations and other relationships that go through, watch that, because it's not always going to be. Just watch it you, you will know. You will know if it's like multiple women you doing the same type of damage, to like don't. Don't put yourself in a position to get hurt like that or be like same with these men, like I'm that friend, she gonna do me like that because I ain't, I ain't, I ain't this type of girl, I ain't the type of person. Yes, you will, because that's her characteristic. So just love her from afar, and it's okay to love people from afar.
Speaker 1:And if you know you ain't a girl's girl, you know or know you personally don't have the best intentions from people, don't waste your time or their time trying to get close with them. And because that, just that, just that ain't you know what I'm, know that also, if you aren't a girl's girl but you or you're just a shy girl or you know whatever, like you got a friend in me, sister, you can come here and we can meet every Wednesday, sip on our little tea. I ain't make me no tea today, y'all like I ain't make me no tea. That's what I should be relax a little bit, and I was just so eager to get here and talk and just get on talk about this episode and all the things. I was so eager and just you see why I'm recording again. But that's what this space is for, this space is for.
Speaker 1:When you walk into the girls restroom, you swing that door open, you come around that corner, that girl that's standing there in that mirror crying, or in that stall throwing up, she just need her girl, her girl, she just need her girl. And you give that girl a hug, you look in the mirror at both of y'all and you see yourself in her shoes and you have her back. And I'm just letting y'all know like I've been that girl, I've been that fake bitch, I have been that Like I've been that all. But who I am today is a sister, a girl's girl, and I want y'all to know you are enough, you are loved. You are a star, you are the goat, you are stunning and you deserve anything in this world that your heart desires. You deserve love. You are loved and you are powerful. You are a girl and you know we out. Thank you for coming to the girls restroom.