TheGrlsRestroom
You need your girls, you need to release, you need to reset, & you need to refresh! This will be a safe place where we talk about all the fun things, love, grow, glow, get our shit together & release it!
TheGrlsRestroom
IF you can't join them....BEAT them!
Ever been in a situation where fitting in felt like a losing battle? We’ve all been there, and today, we explore the empowering idea of “If you can't join them, beat them.” Through heartfelt personal stories, we reveal how self-love and setting boundaries can help us navigate tricky female friendships and workplace competition. Sharing experiences of dealing with jealousy and intimidation, we emphasize the importance of standing your ground and walking in your truth, even when it means cutting off toxic relationships.
Have you ever felt that sting of being left out? We tackle the challenges of friend favoritism and maintaining confidence. It’s all about keeping your head high and not letting others' actions define your self-worth. Whether it’s offering solutions or simply staying true to yourself, we highlight the importance of protecting your happiness amidst social dynamics that can often feel exclusionary. Learn how to navigate these feelings gracefully and ensure that your personal strength and integrity remain intact.
Finally, we dive deep into empowerment through authenticity and building a strong sisterhood. We share how to turn negative energy from others’ insecurities into fuel for your own growth. Reflecting on the importance of genuine connections, we recall the comfort of long-lasting friendships and the empowering space of the girls' restroom. With exciting updates and future guest appearances on the horizon, remember: you are loved, beautiful, and capable of anything. Join us, and let’s celebrate our shared strength and unwavering confidence together.
Welcome to the girl's restroom. We are back on episode six, and today's topic is if you can't join them, beat them. And I know a lot of y'all are sitting wondering like don't you mean it the other way around? No bitch, we don't. So so sit back, get your wine, get your champagne, relax. You just got off of work. It don't matter what you're doing in this world. Come into the girls restroom, because we're gonna get into some teens, so car.
Speaker 1:So now you know that we are all about being a girl's girl, and in a world that we live in now, it's not always possible. Let's just say that. Well, I'm not going to say that it's very much, very possible to always be a girl's girl, but it also comes a time when you have to stand your ground and you have to put a bitch in her place. Okay, unfortunately, we have to stand your ground and you have to put a bitch in her place. Okay, unfortunately, we have to go there. First off, though, before we get into the things I do you know, y'all know how I am I always want to start off very soft and sweet and let everybody know that you have to love yourself and set boundaries, even when it comes to friends, because not all girls around you have a soft spot for you or want the best for you or have the best intentions, and some people are jealous around you and sometimes you have to sit and you have to protect that. And a lot of people like to base their friendships off of history as well. Just because you have a history with someone does not mean they don't need to be cut off. Just because you're family with somebody does not mean they don't need to be cut off and always know your worth and know that you do not have to fit in. It's okay to be the outcast. Your tribe will be attracted to you. It's nothing that you will have to follow. So don't be a follower. Stand your ground, love on yourself and walk in your truth. And you know that's my little sentimental advice for today and the little summary of today. But let's get back into it.
Speaker 1:So what I I mean by join. If you can't join them, beat them. This is, let me break that down. So say you are a girl's girl and you you know you want to become cool with a certain girl and her friends, or you know just a certain type of people situation, or it just didn't work out before, and it's okay. We all been that girl. That's like them bitches look cool. I want to hang with them, I want to see what that's like and have end up in a situation where, oh no, girl, I can't be hanging around them. Girls like it ain't what it seemed and it's just that. Been there, done that, overcame it be them and that's just what it is.
Speaker 1:I am an aries, so naturally I love a good competition. So if I feel like I can't rock with you, okay, I'm not gonna make my whole. Let's get that. Let's get that understood too. I'm not gonna make everything I do about you, however, but best believe, if you make me feel some type of way, if I could trying to come around you, trying to be your friend, or if you stake me or something, girl, I'm gonna shit on you. You gonna feel that wrath from me anyway, and that's just how I feel about a lot of things. Like I'm trying to, okay, so let's, I'm going to use my little situation and y'all can kind of give me y'all little opinions about it.
Speaker 1:So I once had this job right. Everybody was all cool, worked around a whole lot of women. The space that I worked in was supposed to be so much fun because of what we do for our career or whatever, and it got to a point where it just kind of got petty because someone was intimidated by me but did not know how to talk to me about, like shit. Like like I'm trying not to like y'all know me, I'm not. I'm not good with telling stories and not seeing names and stuff like that. But, however, anyway, this is a safe place, it's my place and a bitch ain't got no business being up here anyway if they don't like me anyway.
Speaker 1:Um, so yeah, girl was very intimidated by me and she was older than me and I've had a couple of girls that I've gotten cool with, that are older than me, that I want to truly accept in the big sister role, but always try to little girl me and that's what I don't like, that's what I will not accept and that's what you and you will feel me shit on you period. So couple, yeah, like just little stuff. Like I can't be bullied, I can't be an ass kisser and I and I won't be scared of you. Like I will stand up for myself, I will stand up for what's right. If I don't agree with it, I will let it be known that I don't agree with it only if I got a solution to something. I am very much a team player. I'm not trying I've never been the girl to like overthrown anybody or their situation.
Speaker 1:And if I have a, I'm in my opinions and my energy is very strong. So when I say something, I mean it and I stand 10 toes behind it, but I always seem to have a solution for it. I'm not gonna speak up on something if I feel like I don't have a solution for it, because then I'm just running my fucking mouth and no one likes that girl. That just runs their fucking mouth, and that's another thing. Y'all. We're going to pause. I really truly got to stop. Because they're on this podcast. I can get monetized, I can get me something. I'm not, but anyway. Anyway, that's for another day. Baby honey, maybe season two, season one, I gotta get it out.
Speaker 1:However, you don't make nobody try to you don't try to make nobody feel small or feel less educated because you're intimidated. I've never been that girl and I play the big sister role to a lot of younger girls and they will let you know quick, fast, in a hurry, like I don't do that little girl like that. What is it that make you like I don't look, girl, nobody, I don't bully nobody, I don't make them feel less than or anything, and that's why I have so many people around me that love me. Rather, it's genuine, not it's love. Hate is love, and I feel love coming from her because you see something in me, girl, like I'm gonna look at the positive no matter what.
Speaker 1:But, with that being said, low-key had told a lot of people around me like just start doing little stuff, like outside of not inviting me. And then, like you know, just little cute shit started happening. I was just like okay, like all right, that's how y'all want to roll, and it's not that my feelings was even hurt because I'm not a fake bitch like if I know we don't get along, this, this, that and the third, I am not gonna come anyway. However, when you telling and whispering to somebody saying I did not invite her on purpose, it's like okay, bitch, you tried it, you, you tried it, you tried it, you tried it, you tried it. And then, like texting me on the low, talking about girl, you can come. They invited themselves.
Speaker 1:Like like just face shit, like I don't get a lot. I don't like stuff like that. And so when you in those and you put in those situations, you gotta step one, act like that. Shit don't bother you, even if it does. Even if it does bother you, girl, you gotta let it you. Because if you show any bitch that feel like she got one up on you a sign of weakness, they're not going to do anything but feed off of it. And then that's when it's going to become bullying and then point throwing rocks and hiding their hands and like all this other little shit.
Speaker 1:But and I'm speaking on it because the stuff that I peeped out, also the growth in me, because little Kelvisha, little Kelly, that would hurt her feelings, that would have made her cry, that wouldn't have had her questioning herself, that would have had her people pleasing and doing a little ass kissing at that too, just to kind of be in the crowd. But I'm so proud of myself now I'm like, oh, not another one of you, not another bitch like you, trying to come in the midst and make this shit happen like girl, all right, I see what you're doing there, that's cute, but little do you, I don't give a damn. And then, and again, this is not a space where we're going to be putting anybody down or anything. But don't walk around like you.
Speaker 1:Hot shit and I got more shit going on with myself. Like you know what I'm saying. I got more shit going. I have going on. My priorities is together. I'm making everything, do what it do, I'm making it happen and I'm happy. So that alone, my happiness alone. Let's take out what I have going on. My happiness alone, is going to shit on anybody.
Speaker 1:Because I'm confident and that's rule number two to this because I'm confident you have to and that's rule number two to this Be in at your ops. Number two is your confidence. You have to have high confidence. You have to have confidence. If you don't have confidence, you are already lost. That might be number one. That might tie with number one. You and it kind of does Like you can't like act like you care. You can't really. You know, if you do care and I know a lot of people say like if you're speaking on it, you care not necessarily I'm speaking on it in my space because I know it's a girl out there that's sitting around wondering why she not getting invited to the cookouts, why she getting invited to um the bar parties, why she not getting invited to this, why she gotta get invited to that girl who gives a fuck.
Speaker 1:Go out by yourself with your friends, with your man, with your girl, whoever go out and have shit and do shit on your own and do it bigger and do it better, show them a good time. They missing out on like, okay, well, y'all, have y'all a little fun. I'm gonna have my little fun over here this way and it's. I don't understand why girls get catty, but I also have had friend favoritism. I've done it and it's been done to me and that's kind of this is? It ties in the same thing, but it's not the same thing of what I'm speaking of like two different situations. So now I'm going into something else.
Speaker 1:Like friend favoritism is a fucking thing. Like you could be down and I seen I seen my cousin brian actually posted status about this, but and I was just like you know what. I'm gonna speak about that on my next episode a little bit, because that's the fucking truth you can be down for a bitch, you can hold a bitch down, you can listen to her vent, cry and complain about her bills all fucking day, but soon as that one bitch come around with a little more clout quote, unquote or who feel like she might feel like they have a little clout with them or the type of energy she wants to be around, that motherfucker is gonna favor that friend and act like they're the ones that's been down. They're the ones that did this and act like they're the ones that's been down. They're the ones that did this and that and they're the ones that in reality, they got their own people they fucking support. For real, you just ask kissing a little bit to be known and to be in them spaces with people, and that shit is not cool. I don't feel like especially. Have I done that? Yes, I've done that in my younger years. Have I done that? Yes, I've done that in my younger years?
Speaker 1:Getting out of high school and the friends and stuff that I had in high school was totally different from the girls that I started hanging around a year or two later was different scenery. I was more so in the streets and out partying a lot, got a couple little scuffles like just shit. That wasn't. That doesn't even align with my energy just being out and about. Because these are the girls, the boys. The boys know these girls like that these are the girls. That's just. Like you know, just got a little little clout motion let's call it that little clout motion, and those were the girls that I felt like I wanted to be around, I wanted that popularity, I wanted that name, I wanted to do my own thing, but also like, like you know, I don't know what it was that I wanted, like that I was missing, where I wanted to feel accepted, but that's what it was. And just being around them, girls in that space, and nothing wrong with them, girls, because, shout out to them, that was my bitches or whatever. Still cool with all of them. Still cool with all of them to this day. We had all the issues, but I'm very much cool with all of them to this day.
Speaker 1:However, I let my day ones kind of fade off into the wind and really was just focused on who was in front of me and not who was behind me having my back, and that's where you fuck up at. You can't focus on the little stuff like that when it comes to that like friend favoritism, shit, and people also don't deserve that. Like I felt that for for a couple of people that were there for me when my baby was born and who I only wanted. I only wanted day ones around me and my baby. This is my firstborn and it was very sacred to me, very, very sacred to me. So if you was around and if you was in that room and if you knew what was going on, you was somewhat dear to my heart and shortly I fell out with a couple of people because of same shit.
Speaker 1:Friend, friend favoritism, like that shit ain't cool or whatever. So I beat them bitches at their own game and, yes, I am cool with these people and I mean they can feel away if they want to feel away. That's the conversation I can have with them if they feel targeted. However, the truth is the truth and the truth can never be a diss. So that's what it is with that. Like you know what I'm saying. Friend favoritism is just a real thing and I just feel like it's unnecessary and you shouldn't make nobody feel that way. I feel like, when it comes back to the whole group thing hanging around a whole bunch of women, you should let your tribe be attracted to you and don't mix up your different fingers. That's how you know and we're so well, I'm grown now.
Speaker 1:Not everybody that listens to this episode, may be my age and may need that advice, but and it's okay to outgrow and get new friends in your next chapters because one thing I've always learned too that the same snake bitches come around in every aspect of your life. Everything is full circle and it's going to come back to you. But it's like, how are you going to handle it? And if, for this particular situation, for me, I handled it very cool. I handled it very cool. I was just like you know what y'all have fun. I didn't let that shit bother me. I was still outside and honestly having a whole lot more fun than when the stories I had heard from them partying out and shit like that, really living the life that I live and being the vibe that I am.
Speaker 1:I don't have time for fake stuff or these fake when you can say fake industry parties. I don't have time for fake industry parties. Like girl, I am the celebrity in the group and some bitches can't take that and the ones that can't take it make them feel it then because instead of wanting to win with me, you want to win against me because you you so intimidated, because you insecure about yourself, instead of asking me like, how are you so confident? Like what can I do? Like you know, it don't matter your age. Like, let me know. Like you know what I'm saying. Like let me know and let's work on it together if we truly care for each other and I've had girls that done that and I've been very vulnerable to girls who I seen carry a little bit more confidence on my low days and I'm like girl, I don't remember how you do it, but how you can. I need a new way, because the old way and working because I ain't feeling it no more. Like what's up?
Speaker 1:It's okay to be vulnerable with your girls, but if it's also okay to shit on people who don't want to be in your space, who don't want because it's your world, it's your world and you are the main character, you are the celebrity, you are that it girl. So why bother? Why bother to even try to fit in with a whole bunch of people who don't want you around? It's like staying with a man who don't want you to be there. Like what? Like? Why am I? Why am I suffering? Like what I'm putting myself through this? Like, and I don't deserve that. So you don't deserve that, even with the girls. Like no, we, we don't deserve that at all.
Speaker 1:And I just feel like, if you can't join them bitches, beat them bitches in every aspect, in every way that you can, because at the end of the day, if someone is intimidated by something, that's their personal problem, that's something they're going to have to get over, that's something they are going to have gonna have to like heal and come up out. And if them bitches, I'll keep cussing, oh, my god. And if well, I'm gonna keep saying it because I really feel it. And if them bitches feel like, well, I want to come around and I want to get to know the sauce. Now I'm tired of yeah, ho, you is defeated. Like, come on over here to the winning team, let them join you. If you try to, you know, bring the sauce, and they didn't want the sauce. Cook that shit up some more. Then cook that shit up some more, girl, cook that sauce up some more.
Speaker 1:And you get on through and you do what you need to do and you turn shit up. You make them hoes want to come around you through and you do what you need to do and you turn shit up. You make them hoes want to come around you. That's what you do. But don't sit in again, don't sit in focus on the shit. Like, don't be so obsessive, like, oh, like, don't get it twisted, we don't do that. But it's like, oh, okay, noted.
Speaker 1:And some girls like, and a lot of people may say well, you know, I don't worry about nobody, I just move on and do me. In other words, that's shitting on them. That's the same thing. That is the same thing, girl, that's the same thing. You shit, you getting shitted on regardless and as you should, because y'all bitches is weird, sometimes bitches be be trying to be friends and kick it and be cool. Y'all don't want that, y'all, y'all don't want that. So, instead of joining the mad team, girl, you gotta, you gotta do what you gotta do, you gotta kick, you gotta do what you gotta do and you, you gotta do what you gotta do and you gotta let a girl know.
Speaker 1:Now, I ain't saying go fuck a man and do all day. I ain't saying be bitter. I'm saying be lighter, being more of a girl's girl, being more of the it factor. Like, be everything, like that. You know they're like, just take your like, know your power. That's exactly what I'm trying to say. I'm like beating around, know your fucking power. Your power is so, so, so important and you have to know that you are powerful. We all, and we all have different powers. We all have different powers as human beings and you have to radiate. You have to radiate from stuff like that. You have to let negative energy, people's intimidations, their envious ways towards you, jealous same thing if you look at it, um, you have to let that feed your power in the most positive way. It's like you're be, if you're gonna be empathic and if you're gonna feel like.
Speaker 1:You have to learn how to cut on your filter. Sometimes you need that little, that well water, because you need them natural bacteria. You need that. You know what I'm saying. But sometimes also, you need to filter. You need to clean it. You need that water that some people are pouring into you. You need to like turn, turn. What is it? The burrito, the burrito, what's the damn water jug name? With the filter. That's what you need to do, bitch, when they pouring in and pouring all that negative stuff into you. Girl, clean it up, clean it up and fill up. Clean up and fill up. We're gonna take it all. We're gonna take the girls that want to hang and do this and this and that and the third, and we're gonna take the bitches. That's mad and being funny and acting all awkward and shit intimidating, all. We're gonna take that too.
Speaker 1:Because guess what it's love? Everything is always, always connected and I feel like if you hate me, you love me, if you love me, you love me and I love you, but if you hate me, you love me, because how can you hate someone without it being some type of love? Hmm, and that's that. On that, and also I want to speak about because I don't think I have another let me see, let me go ahead and throw this in there too the girls that act like they don't fuck with you in front of everybody but behind closed doors be, oh, I love you. Oh, my god, she don't know bitches too, because it's always a little, a little groupie girl acting funny, acting like she don't fuck with you and then like she don't like you and then like, girl, let that hurt, go.
Speaker 1:You want to be with the winning team, you love the girl, you want to be cool, it's okay, like, the soon as you realize that, the sooner it'll make you look the fuck better, because you look stupid, acting like y'all don't fuck with people, certain people outside of them genuinely being there for you, or any other case. Like, stop acting like that. Like that ain't cool, like we, we grown, you don't have to act like that. And if you are that girl that's acting like that girl, just just pay it like for real. Like you can't just be sitting around acting like you don't fuck with nobody who gives a fuck, who you fuck with for real.
Speaker 1:If a bitch come in and be like, well, that's your friend, yeah, that is my home girl, not like her, she's cool and what else? Anyway, what somebody else, what they're gonna say? They're gonna say um, um, yeah, it's always better when you stand up in your truth, don't matter what it is. Stand up in your fucking truth, bitch, we just had pride, the pride episode last last wednesday. Stand up in your motherfucking truth. What y'all, what? What you scared, especially a bitch like me.
Speaker 1:Like now I'm gonna take it personal real quick. Like girl, what I am, the vibe, I am the life of the party. I am a good friend to have around. Bitch, you ain't got a fake kick you with me. You either we do or we don't. It is what it is. I don't give a damn, not anymore. I used to care, but now, girl Shit, the less friends, the better honey.
Speaker 1:So when I get rich, I ain't gotta buy all them Birkins, I could just buy, you know, shannon Chantel, shout out to y'all you know what I'm saying them. But Shannon Chantel, shout out to y'all them. But yeah, like Nah, and my little sisters, of course. And shout out to my little sisters, like, if you have Hold on, I got an intruder. Sorry y'all. I, my baby in the background screaming mommy, mommy, because he wants something to drink, when in reality he just want me to pay attention to him, because my focus is on something else right now. See how them vibes is. See, I'm trying to tell y'all the love of coco is unmatched, it's unbeatable. It's unbeatable like period unbeatable.
Speaker 1:So if you can't join them, beat them. I don't know, um, I actually can't even see the time of how much. I don't record it on here, whatever, but I always try to give y'all a good hour of my thoughts and feelings and emotions and all of that. This might be a little short episode because my child is a little thirsty and I gotta go tend him real quick, put in the bed, and it's gonna be miss grown folk time because mama need to handle something with her man. I need to take that off. Um, I ain't got no man y'all, I'm just playing. I wish I did. It's me on here manifesting damn, it's the time of the month, honey. I manifested a man, a real man.
Speaker 1:But anyway, if you can't join them bitches, beat them. And when I say beat them, I mean competition wise, I don't mean beat their ass. Like, don't be a bitter bitch, don't be a bitter bitch. I cannot express that enough. Do not be a bitter bitch, girl. Like, it's okay, you ain't gotta don't don't beat them, don't don't beat them up, just beat them at their own game.
Speaker 1:Like, okay, I got something for y'all. Y'all gonna want to wish y'all was hanging with a bitch. It's gonna eat y'all alive. Or y'all gonna come over here and join the winning team, because you see what's up. And then I'm still not gonna trust y'all was hanging with a bitch. It's going to eat y'all alive. Or y'all going to come over here and join the winning team Because you see what's up. And then I'm still not going to trust y'all as far as I can throw y'all, because what was the tea earlier? Like what? So never feel insecure. Always be secure with yourself. Love on yourself.
Speaker 1:Y'all know I'm big about self-love. Have the confidence to walk away from friendships. That just is not going. That doesn't benefit you. And let's be serious I am 29 years old now and I'm at a point in my life where I don't use people. I would never in my life. I wasn't raised to do that. However, if the connections that I make it is not benefiting me, then they, then there's no reason for me to be sticking around talking to you about anything. If we build a bond and a genuine friendship from business connections, that is wonderful and that I know is going to bring me longevity and a successful friendship.
Speaker 1:I got my childhood friends. Sasha and Chantel have been there like 15 plus years. You know I have my little sisters, I have people who I want to just call and vent to and trust, and you know I have that already. So for the new girls that come around to come in, you're gonna have to benefit me in some way. You're gonna have to have some type of emotion, because I care for you and I want to see you grow, you know, and when I have my downfalls in my days, I want you to be able to pick me up and be like I'm sisterless. Let's get it like a sisterhood, a real tribe, and that's all you need around you and know your power, know that you are a star, know that you are loved, know that you are that motherfucking girl and know that anytime you need to feel like you are when you are down and out, you can always come into the girls restroom and you gonna feel like you, that bitch.
Speaker 1:So Today's song mood is flawless, by Beyonce featuring Nicki Minaj. Of course, we gotta do the remix. So bow down bitches, go put that on and then play one again after that and then let me know how you feel. I love y'all. We are out. I will see in y'all next wednesday also. I do have some good stuff coming up and I know season one. I was like I don't want to do guests. I don't want to do that, but I'm gonna do with the fucking kids, because everybody is fucking with the girls restroom. This is episode six and I'm so excited and this is something that I, besides makeup, that I've been very consistent about, and I'm so excited for that. Again, you are loved, you are beautiful, you are a star. You are in the girls restroom, where you can be anything you want to be, and we love you. Bye.